Today I got forced to be mean. I hate it, when I have to get brutal, even when it's the truth.
My ex wrote me again, told me how unfair I was to break up. Cause I helped him to do better in life. I had to tell him very clear that I'm not his therapist and that it's not my purpose in life to improve his. I had to force myself to write such an answer. I'm actually too soft to say something like that, but he forced me to and I really hate him for that. Doing something like that hurts me, deep in my soul. I was sad the whole day.
And well... My insecurity kicked in this evening. I didn't mean to get angry but there's someone who always makes me insecure. I met her when I met my partner first time. Someone told me they were a couple and when things with him and me started, I got told, I shouldn't be "the other woman". I got told, I shouldn't break their relationship. I even got told "Just you wait! He'll do the same with you". He's not that kind of person. I know that and I absolutely trust him. He's a good guy. A great guy.
Sometimes they do stuff together in game. Whenever I see this... My memory comes back of the words I got told. I get insecure and jealous. He doesn't do anything wrong. Playing together isn't bad at all. The logical part of me knows that. But the insecure part just wants to hide and cry. Basically over nothing! I know that very well and I work on it. I don't want him to cut friendships for my sake. That'd be ridiculous. It's my problem, not his. So I have to handle it on my own.
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