I thought back and forth for quite a while, if I should write this post.
Originally I started this blog, to inform about depression, to get things out of my system, when I was really upset. When I started it, it was needed, it was necessary for me. I went through some shit at that time and if I hadn't wrote it, it would've broken me. Sometimes this blog was my last resort and more than once I was crying a lot while writing a post. But I decided, it's not needed anymore.
My cries for help are heard. I have wonderful friends, who have m back. I have a wonderful partner, who's there for me. I have the feeling, I finally found peace.
That doesn't mean, I won't have struggles in future. My depression is still there, insecurities are still a thing for me. There will be times, when I feel shitty again, when I wonder, if I'm still needed or wanted. But honestly, I can talk to the people involved. I can ask them. Realising that was a big step for me. That I'm allowed to ask, allowed to talk to others about it.
I don't need to always be strong. I can be weak and I will be caught.
I hope my partner and friends see it the same way. That they can talk to me when something is bugging them.
I will not delete this blog, but I will stop using it for a long time I guess.
I'm fine, at least for now. That feels good. I feel safe when I think about the future. A bit nervous, cause I'll start a complete new life soon, but I'm doing good and look forward to it very much.
No comments:
Post a Comment