It started already yesterday in the late evening. I wonder if I'm wanted, if I'm liked, if I'm needed. Is there anyone who wants me to be around him? Only one person that shows me I'm valued.
"You're overthinking" I hear that often. Maybe I am, but it's how I feel at the moment. In the end I'm alone again.
Maybe it's better like this. So I can't bother anyone and no one will be annoyed by me.
I just do what I always did. I put on my happy smiling mask and let no one see the tears behind it. I cried too much in the last weeks. And then I hear "yeah, your situation is bad, but cmon, you're over 30!" as if my age means, I'm not allowed to feel pain anymore. As if that means, I have to brush everything off and simply move on. Fuck those people. I'll stand alone, I'll fight alone. Nothing new to me. I'll handle this disappointed hope somehow.
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